Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Strangers On a Common Path

By chance, I met a lady from Sicily today, who is going through the same transition that I have been going through. She lost her mother just a couple of weeks before my mother died, and we shared a lot of what we had been going through. She also works full time at the grocery store where I shop, and like me, she had to rearrange her life to care for her mother. Now that we are no longer under the burden of constantly juggling our time between work and caring for an ailing parent, there is a sense of relief, appreciation of more free time, and . . . guilt . . . because we feel the relief.

Neither of us begrudged our mothers the time they needed from us. We would still be gladly giving to each of them if they were still with us. At the same time, there's no denying that it was a difficult and exhausting time! We were both sandwiched in between two generations who needed us, and the responsibility felt very heavy at times.

We shared stories and emotions and understanding. Just a chance meeting of two hearts and minds full of the same emotions and thoughts regarding the transitions that we were experiencing since the passing of our beloved mothers.
It's interesting how a bit of unexpected conversation with another traveller on your path can truly be medicine for the soul. God has His own ways of bringing us relief from the stresses of our journey, and providing the encouragement that we greatly need to face the transitions that are ahead.

God is good!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Transitioning to a Simpler Life!


I was enjoying a friend's blog earlier this evening and one thing led to another - literally. She had a lot of links to other blogs, so I checked out a few of those also. Most of them concerned homemaking skills, recipes, hobbies, and other varied interests along those lines.

The ones that seemd to grab my attention the most though, were the ones that spoke of simplifying one's life, and the many different ways to go about accomplishing that. These are the ones that seemed to touch a new need within myself, to declutter and simplify my own life.

I no longer have the desire to have my life governed by my job or my possessions. When I leave the office, I want to truly leave the office - both in body and in spirit. When I arrive at home, I want to relax in a clutter-free zone, and yet live in an environment that speaks of who I am. While my decor tends to be a bit eclectic, there is still the need for order and simplicity.

How is it that we pick up so many different possessions and collections of "things" over the years? How does it start? Does it start with the childish collections that began small, and grow with us, as we grow into adulthood? Can one enjoy a hobby or special interest without it taking over your shelves or your life?

I guess it all comes down to deciding what's important to you. Do you really cherish all those little knickknacks, or has the collection just become a habit that you don't know how to break? Do you really read, or intend to read, all those books, or listen to all that music that you've collected? What is really important to you - deep down within yourself? What gives you peace of mind and the ability to relax?

As always, it's a decision that must be left to the individual, and that individual's ability to prioritize all the "clutter" of life that surrounds us day in and day out. After all, one man's clutter may very well be another man's joy!

These are just the late night ramblings of a tired and cluttered mind . . . and yet, I sense the coming of another transition - just around the corner . . .

Sunshine Beautiful



Outside it was a gray, wet, and very windy day yesterday. Yet, in my heart, it was sunshine beautiful, because I am getting daily reminders of God's love and comfort. He reminds in so many ways, not only of His constant presence, but also of the lessons that my mother taught me during the last year of her life.

Growing up, I remember that my mother was both stubborn and impatient, but in her later years, she really mellowed a lot. By doing that, she taught me that there is hope for her stubborn, impatient daughter!

In the last year of her life, it seemed at times, as if the Lord and my mother were teaming up to show me a better way of life. She had mellowed to the point that very little ruffled her, and when something did upset her, she would say, "I can't allow things to upset me, I just have to pray about it and leave it to the Lord."

It was the little, every day things, that showed me how much my mother had allowed the Lord to make changes in her life. We mended some serious rifts during her last year, and grew closer than we had ever been. Maybe it was the "mending of the fences" that made me more attentive to what she had to say. Yet, it wasn't so much what she said, as what she did. She constantly looked to the Lord for her strength, and by her actions, she helped to strengthen my spiritual walk. I told her that one time, and her response was that she couldn't have made the changes without the Lord's help.

After having a massive stroke a year before her death, she felt very blessed to still be alive. Every day she gave credit to the Lord for another day of life. She almost died again four months later, but the Lord blessed once again. My mother often told me that she didn't know why she was still here on this earth. She figured it was either because the Lord had something He wanted her to do, or that she still had lessons to learn. Whichever it was, she was grateful for each and every day.

I'm thinking maybe He had lessons for ME to learn . . .


Hear my instruction and be wise, and do not disdain it. Proverbs 8:33

Friday, February 13, 2009

He's Always There . . . He's Everywhere!


Every day is a different day now. Each day is another day without our beloved matriarch, and the loss for our family has been great! When the phone rings, I wonder if it's her. When I hear something amusing, or something interesting, my first thought is to share it with her.

Now especially, I am so thankful for my heavenly Best Friend! He has been my Comforter and my Rock through all of this. Sometimes when I lie in bed at night, I can almost physically feel His arms around me, comforting me with His love and understanding. After all, He's already been down that path. He knows all about the emotional pain of loss.

No matter how great the loss, or how deep the pain, He can and will, ease the hurt. I've seen His love in the faces of friends and family who shared our grief. I've felt His comfort in the touch of those who have sympathized with our loss.

He is everywhere! No matter where I turn, day or night, He is there! His Words of scripture comfort me in the early morning hours, and my evening prayers thank Him for the strength He has given me to get through another day.

God is good. He is everywhere. He is my Rock.

Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord. Psalm 27:14.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Death of a Generation


My mother passed away a little over a week ago, and it was the end of an era for our family. Her parents were long ago deceased, and she was the last of six siblings. It was the death of a generation.

She was our matriarch, our rock. She was the one we all turned to with our joys, our sorrows, our troubles, or just because we had something we wanted to share with her.

She encouraged us, sympathized with us, and was our leader in her spiritual faith, but she was never our judge.

I don’t think my mother ever had a full realization of how special people thought she was. She went through life just doing what she thought needed to be done, without expecting anything in return. While she was small in stature, she wore some very big shoes that no one else will ever be able to fill.

On the night that my mother died, my niece, Candice Danforth Horton, wrote a poem that I think speaks very accurately of who my mother was, and how her family felt about her. I'd like to share that with you now.



Margie

All my life you were there when I needed you
But somehow you slowly slipped away
Part of me feels the sadness
But mostly I feel the pain

And sometimes I feel the rage
Some days I feel just the love
In small moments I see a light shining
And sometimes I just feel numb

All the bittersweet memories flood my mind
As I sit alone in this empty room
I used to think that we’d have forever
But forever came far too soon

There’s so much that I needed to tell you
So much I never got to say
Yet I know that you always knew
That I loved you anyway

You brought out the best in everyone
And you were the best of us all
You never lost your faith in anyone
No matter how far we’d fall

You touched more lives than you knew
All your children young and old
Small things may in time be forgotten
But no one will forget your heart of gold

If ever you were given the chance
You would give all that you could
You put yourself last in everything
Holding to all that was pure and good

No one will forget the many children
Who you so gently took into your care
Nor will we forget the work you did
Or the faith you were so willing to share

You were the matriarch of our family
The center rock on which we all could stand
And no matter where there was a need
You always lent a helping hand

Everyone to you was important
You were unbiased and kind, full of truth
Giving everyone a chance, only seeing good
And your smile brightly lit every room

Wisdom and love were your tools
As you had lived many lifetimes in one
A depression and a war, family and church
86 years and now your work is done

You had many names; mom, grandma, great grandmother
And Grandpa called you honey, wife and dear
You were aunt, teacher, nurse and friend
But it’s Margie we lay to rest here

~ Candice Horton ~
January 17, 2009